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A Patel Joke - Masterpiece!

Written by Asish Das

Wednesday, 16 January 2013 12:48

A Patel Joke - Masterpiece!

After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified -- an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Gujarati from India. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked,

"What is the fastest thing you know?"

Dave, the American, replied,"A THOUGHT”. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.

"And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir , the Russian.

"Hmm... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know.

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed”.

He then turned to George, the Austral

ian who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on Yep, Turning on a LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.

Turning to Patel, the Guy from India , the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.

Patel replied, (in his Gujju accent!) "Apter herring da 3 prebius ansers sir, et's obius to me dat the fastest thing is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats...

"Oh, I can expleyn sir," said Patel. “You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was pheeling bad and so I run so fast to the baatrum,, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I alredi done it !

"Patel is now the new "Office Manager" at Wal-Mart in Washington.

Time to laugh

Written by Rajesh Pandey

Tuesday, 15 January 2013 10:48

1. SARDAR'Son:- papaji......

Bahar Darwaje par koi Swimming pool ke liye Donation mang Reha hai.

SARDAR:- Puttar Ja, usko Ek Lota pani de de.

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2. Sardar - Yaar raat bhar train me

Neend nahi aayi upar ki seat mili thi..

Dost - to exchange karna tha..

Sardar - kisse karta,

Niche seat pe koi tha hi nahi.

3. Jethalal- aare daya raat ko Mobile charging me mat rakho, Blast ho jayega,

Daya- tapu ke papa

Aap tension mat lijiye

Maine battery nikal di he...

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4. Who was the 1st INDIAN to use 4G..

Ans: It's Anil kapoor.!

aG ,oG, lo G, suno G.

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5. Mayawati came 2 lalu's house with an elephant,

Lalu- bhaiswa ke sath aaye ho..??

Mayawati- dikhta nahi elephantwa hai.

Lalu- dhutt pagli hum elephantwa se puch raha hu.

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6. Shadi me Sardar ne plate pe tissue paper dekh k socha ye bhi khane wali chez hai.

Jaise hi wo khane laga, to Sab Sardar Chillaye "Oye Mat Kha, Feeka hai"

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7. TEACHER: Wo Kaun Sa Department He Jisme Aurat Kaam Nahi Kar Sakti?

STUDENT: Fire Brigade.

TEACHER: Wo Q?

STUDENT: Aurato Ka Kaam AAG Lagana Hai, Bujhana Nahi:)

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8. Girl:Nice mobile,

Where did u buy?

Boy:I won dis in a running race

Girl:How many persons participated?

Boy:MOBILE OWNER, POLICE & ME.

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9. Teacher: can you defined who is leacturer?

Student: Lecturer is a person

Who has a very bad habbit of

Speaking when someone sleeping.

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10.Santa BLOOD Ke bare mein book padh raha tha.

Wife: Aaj yeh book kyu padh rahe ho ji?

Santa: Mujhe doctor ne kaha hai

Ke kal mera BLOOD test hai...

Iss liye test ki tayari kar raha hoon.!!

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11.Customer: Waiter Aisi Chai Pilao

Jisko Pee Kar Tan Man Jhum Uthe Aur

Badan Nachne Lage.

Waiter: Sir Humare Yaha Bhens Ka Dudh Aata Hai, Nagin Ka Nahi...

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12.Boy to Girl:Tumhari Umar kya hai?

Girl:20 years

Boy: tum ne to

5 saal pehle bhi yahi batayi thi?

Girl: dekha ladkiyan zubaan ki

Kitni pakki hoti hain..

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13.Suhag raat par: Dulha he Bhagwan

Mujhe Takat aur Tajurba de.

Dulhan: Suniye aap

Sirf Takat ki hi dua mang lijiye,

Bhagwan ki kirpa se

Tajurbato yahan bahut hai.

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14.1 Sardar Scooter Leke Nikla

Aur Wrong Side Me Chalne Laga

Aur Tension Me Aa Gaya...

Aur Bola : Shit, Aaj Fir Late Ho Gya!

Sab Log Wapas Aa Rahe Hai

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15.Judge : Do u accept that u,

Stole the money from him?

Thief : No sir, He only gave me.

Judge : when did he give u?

Thief : when I showed him the knife.

Dedicated to Smokers!!!

Written by Rajesh Pandey

Monday, 10 December 2012 15:07

Lady: Do you smoke?

Guy: Yes I do.

Lady: How many packs a day?

Guy: 3 packs.

Lady: How much per pack?

Guy: $10.00 per pack.

Lady: And how long have you been smoking?

Guy: 15 years

Lady: So 1 pack is $10.00 and you have been smoking 3 packs a day which puts your spending per month at $900. In 1 year, it would have been $10,800. Correct?

Guy: Correct.

Lady: If 1 year you spend $10,800, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending total at $162,000. Correct?

Guy: Correct.

Lady: Do you know if you hadn't smoke, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have by now bought a Ferrari

Think about it!!!!

Jokes on men

Written by Vishva Nath Singh
Monday, 10 December 2012 14:57
Q: What is the difference between men and puppies? A: Puppies grow up Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ? A: Dont know, havn’t seen either Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving Q: Why do men like smart women? A: Opposites attract!

Height of facebook addiction

Written by eclub

Friday, 30 November 2012 11:13

A boys's facebook status " I'm online during economic lecture hahaha

comment from his professor : "Get out of the class"

Dean liked the comment...

Frnd commented : " Jaldi cafe aa ja, mahol ekdam fit hai"

Mom commented : " NALAYAK, class nahi karni to sabzi leke seedha ghar aa "

Dad Commented : " dekh lo apne bete ki harkatein "

GF commented : I hate u, mujhse kaha daadi hospital mein hai, mil nahi sakta "

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Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?

Written by eclub

Tuesday, 27 November 2012 19:33

Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?

Jab koi ladki shadi se pahle pregnant ho jaye aur uski maa bole~ "HEY BHAGWAN YE TUNE KYA KIYA???

BHAGWAN sabse jayada khush

kab hota hai ??

Jab kuchh GUNDE ladki ko chhedte hain aur ladki kehti hai PLEASE MUJHE BHAGWAN KE LIYE CHHOD DO...

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karva chaut:owl worship

Written by suruchi arora
Friday, 02 November 2012 13:37
Ek din Ullu (Owl) Laxmi ji se naraj hokar bola ki aap ki pooja to Diwali k din har ghar me hoti hai par meri pooja koi nahi karta to Laxmi ji ne kaha ki har ghar me meri pooja se 14 din pehle sabhi ullu pooje jayenge us din ko hum karwa "Chauth Kahenge".X_X
Last Updated on Monday, 05 November 2012 10:10

CLEARLY CHEATING

Written by Suruchi arora
Wednesday, 31 October 2012 12:19
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
Last Updated on Monday, 05 November 2012 10:15

no problem

Written by Suruchi arora
Wednesday, 31 October 2012 12:15
एक सिन्धी के घर उसका पठान दोस्त आया! सिन्धी: भाई तकलीफ ना करें, बताएं चाय चलेगी या ठंडा? पठान: इसमें तकलीफ की क्या बात है, चाय बनने तक ठंडा ही सही!
Last Updated on Wednesday, 31 October 2012 12:19